Monday, June 13

Munch Munch Munch

I am quite a good procrastinator.

I have decades of experience.

So it should come as no surprise to me when I find I haven’t posted in some time. Yet, every time, I’m shocked and slightly embarrassed.

Since writing is something that I want to do with my whole life, I tend to treat it with respect (which is good) and maybe too much reverence (which is bad). For example, I don’t want to subject anyone to boring or pointless babble, even though that is all I feel comes out of my mind sometimes. Therefore I don’t write at all. I believe someone (my brother maybe?) once called it frustrated perfectionism.

If I can’t do it perfect, don’t try at all. If I can’t fill out my daily checklist exactly as I wrote it out (yes I am that crazy) why try at all? Sleep in, be late to work, eat junk food all day, veg out in front of the TV! Who cares! I screwed up first thing in the morning when I hit snooze the very first time so what’s the point of making an effort the rest of the day? My day was ruined before it even started.

Yes my mind really does work like this. Pathetic, isn’t it? It can be quite crippling. Even as I write this I know I’m going to really fight this in the morning. Well, knowing is half the battle, right?

So what have I learned today? (Side note: any phrase remotely similar to this makes me sing the “What We Have Learned” song by VeggieTales. I love it.)

I’ve learned that I’m not a screw up.

I’ve learned that my friends do need me in their lives. (I know, off topic, but I’ll elaborate another day.)

Thanks to Etta Grace, I’ve learned that blog posts do not need to long to be stimulating and captivating. (Quality not quantity.)

I’ve learned that beating this procrastinating beast inside me only happens a moment, a decision, at time. Rome was not built in a day. An elephant is eaten one bite at a time.

So this is my bite. I’m probably gonna be chewing for a while…

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