Saturday, September 24


Woohoo!! Two posts in one in month. That's gotta be some kind of record.

God likes to give me pretty sunsets.

God is pretty amazing, right?

For years (and years) I've had a dream to sing on a worship team.
I'm not so big on sharing my dreams for many reasons. For one, it creates expectations I don't like. For another, if I get to the dream, then fail, I don't it feels like more of a failure if other people know how much it means to me. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad stance to have on the whole subject. That a whole other subject for me to delve into at a different time.

I have a memory, years ago at a retreat. During the last night of the retreat we usually had a big worship night. Always my favorite night. God always showed up. Always revealed things to me. This year, the worship leader had the other singers pick someone to come take their place for a song. A girl named Tiffany McCloud looked right at me and waved me up.

Now, I am not a good singer. I don't have a voice to write home about. I know this. But I also know that I can worship. It's my favorite. I'm not really sure how you can practice it and try to get better, but hey, I know that worship is something I am good at.

But I'm not called to be a worship leader. I know that. I've always known that. Even in the time of my life when I was trying to figure out what I was called to me, Worship Leader was never on that list. Pastor, Teacher, Secretary, Author, Speaker, Mom, Director, Leader, they were all on the list of potentials.

I sang on the worship team for my high school discipleship group. But that was only because I was the only one who showed up to every practice. And I only did that because my best friend was the leader and I just wanted to hang out.

But I'm not called to be a worship leader. "You're called to be a worshiper." Please. Everyone is. Our reason for existence is to love, worship, and serve the God who created us. We are all called to be worshipers.

For a long time, my belief has been that if you're not called to be a worship *leader* then you shouldn't be on the worship team. That seemed to be how the team was picked. So I didn't try out for the team. I didn't audition for the music institute. I went to drama and dance and did the "creative person" thing.

But I love to sing. Not where anyone can really hear me, mind you, but I love it nonetheless. Singing in the choir every Sunday was amazing. Choir practices were always a blast. Any time I'm by myself in the car, I'll turn on the radio and jam along to any song I know.

In the last few months, I've come to terms with the following sentences.
1) I love to sing.
2) I can sing.
3) I love to worship.
4) God loves when I worship.
So now what?

So I tried out for the worship team for my college group.

It was terrifying.

I *never* sing so that people can hear me. In all the times I have sang on a mic, I have never sang a solo. Not gonna happen. But I tried out. Sang all by my lonesome. I was so nervous that my voice warbled and I cried, but I still did it.

And this past Tuesday, I sang on the worship team.

It was so fun. The praise part was an absolute blast. The worship part was a little more difficult. Trying to focus on God while having a bajillion other things on my mind is not exactly a walk in the park. But after some prayer during someone else's solo, I felt God. I knew He was there with me. I knew that He was just as happy and excited as I was.

He's pretty amazing, right?

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