Thursday, August 9

I Want! I Want! I Want!!

I turned 28 last week. Eight days ago.

It feels weird. I think every birthday has felt strange to me.

In my head, I feel about 24.
My body is probably closer to 32.
My spirit, well I don't know about that one.
Some days my faith is as strong as a saint.
Other days, my trust falls as short as a newborn.

I know we're not supposed to compare ourselves. Might be a Scripture somewhere about that. Maybe just an old saying.
"Those who compare themselves against one another are not wise."

Something like that.

Yet, every year, I look at where everyone else is in relation to this year.

At 28, my parents had been married for 7 years and had a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old. And a dog.
At 28, my brother had been married for 4 years. He'd also just been fired from his dream job and had started working at a bank. He also got a dog that year.
At 28, my sister-in-law had been married for 5 years. I think she was trying to figure out what life God had for her still. She also had three cats and a dog.
At 28, my cousin had been married for 5 years, I think. He had two and a half kids. And a dog.

Can you tell I want a dog? And a husband. And kids.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

Well, I think my desires are pretty clear.
What I haven't exactly figured out is how to delight myself in Him.

I want to know Him better. Add that to my list of wants.
I want strong faith and clear vision and attentive ears and seeing eyes and an obedient heart and complete self-control and the closeness to Him I once had.
In my still and quite moments, I want to know that I know that I know that I'm *exactly* where I need to be.

1 comment:

  1. well put friend. :) I think I might be in the same boat...I'll look for ya...we can keep each other company ;)